![](\"https:\/\/static01.nyt.com\/images\/2023\/07\/17\/multimedia\/ukraine-divorce-gtwb\/ukraine-divorce-gtwb-mobileMasterAt3x.jpg\"\/)
![](\"https:\/\/static01.nyt.com\/images\/2023\/07\/17\/multimedia\/ukraine-divorce-gtvc\/ukraine-divorce-gtvc-mobileMasterAt3x.jpg\"\/)
<\/p>\nThe New York Times i\u00e7in Finbarr O’Reilly<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\u201cYa\u015fland\u0131\u011f\u0131mda birlikte olmak istedi\u011fim tek ki\u015fi oydu. Ancak Ruslar\u0131n i\u015fgal etti\u011fi g\u00fcn dosyalar\u0131 silmek. Vedala\u015f\u0131rken onu son kez g\u00f6r\u00fcyormu\u015fum gibi bir his kap\u0131ld\u0131m.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cUzun ve mutlu bir evlili\u011fim oldu. K\u00fc\u00e7\u00fckken tan\u0131\u015ft\u0131k. B\u00fcy\u00fck bir a\u015fkt\u0131 ve bir \u00e7ocuk beklentimiz i\u00e7in evliyiz.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
taraf\u0131ndan y\u00fckleme<\/p>\n<\/div>\n
REKLAMI ATLA<\/p><\/div>\n
Sava\u015f ‘Uzun ve Mutlu Bir Evlili\u011fi’ Nas\u0131l Yok Etti?<\/b><\/p>\n<\/div>\n
Ukrayna’daki \u00e7at\u0131\u015fmadaki say\u0131s\u0131z aileyi par\u00e7alad\u0131. Andrii Shapovalov ve Tetiana Shapovalova’n\u0131n hikayesi, bir \u00e7iftin ba\u011f\u0131n\u0131n nas\u0131l zayiata d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015febilece\u011fini ortaya koyuyor.<\/p>\n
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- \n\nBu makaleyi ver<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n
![](\"https:\/\/static01.nyt.com\/images\/2018\/10\/10\/multimedia\/author-jeffrey-gettleman\/author-jeffrey-gettleman-thumbLarge.png\"\/)
<\/div>\n\n\u0130le<\/span> Jeffrey Gettleman<\/span><\/p>\n
\nJeffrey Gettleman, d\u00fczinelerce Ukraynal\u0131 erkek ve kad\u0131nla, sava\u015f\u0131n nas\u0131l olaca\u011f\u0131 hakk\u0131nda, ayr\u0131ca evlilik dan\u0131\u015fmanlar\u0131, hakimler, psikoterapistler ve bo\u015fanma avukatlar\u0131yla r\u00f6portaj yapt\u0131.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n25 Temmuz 2023, 11:00 ET<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n51 ya\u015f\u0131ndaki Andrii Shapovalov ve 50 ya\u015f\u0131ndaki Tetiana Shapovalova birlikte harika bir hayat ya\u015fad\u0131lar. Yakla\u015f\u0131k 30 y\u0131l evli kald\u0131lar, iki o\u011flu b\u00fcy\u00fctt\u00fcler ve kendileri i\u00e7in bir anlam ifade eden kariyerlerin pe\u015finden gittiler – o g\u00f6ren ba\u011f\u0131ml\u0131lar\u0131yla \u00e7al\u0131\u015fan bir psikoterapist, o da b\u00fcy\u00fck bir dondurma \u015firketinde y\u00f6netici olarak. Ge\u00e7en y\u0131la kadar, Ukrayna’n\u0131n merkezinde gelecek vadeden bir \u015fehir olan Dnipro’da bo\u015f yuvalar olarak birlikte yeni bir ya\u015fam a\u015famas\u0131na ge\u00e7iyorlard\u0131.<\/p>\n
Ancak Rus Ordusu ge\u00e7en \u015eubat yerle\u015fim b\u00f6lgesi Ukrayna’ya ge\u00e7i\u015finde, evliliklerinin devam etmesi gibi bir dizi olay\u0131 harekete ge\u00e7irdi.<\/p>\n
F\u00fczeler Dnipro’ya \u00e7arp\u0131p pencerelerini sald\u0131\u011f\u0131nda, o ilk g\u00fcn ayr\u0131ld\u0131lar. Tetiana bir m\u00fclteci yolculu\u011funa \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131. Andrii, aile evlerinin bo\u015f b\u00f6l\u00fcmleri s\u00fcr\u00fckleyiciydi.<\/p>\n
Pek \u00e7ok Ukraynal\u0131 erkek ve kad\u0131n gibi sava\u015f \u00e7ok farkl\u0131 deneyimlemeye devam edeceklerdi. Tetiana yepyeni bir d\u00fcnya, yeni bir \u00fclke, yeni bir dil ve yeni bir erkek arkada\u015f olan Andrii’yi \u015fok ederek ke\u015ffediyordu. Andrii kendini \u00f6n saflarda depresif birliklere girerken ve gen\u00e7li\u011finden beri ilk kez yaln\u0131z ya\u015farken buldu. Ailesini ziyaret etmesi kanunen fiilen engellendi.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n\n\u0130kisinin de sava\u015f g\u00f6revlileri hala birlikte olacaklar\u0131na. \u0130li\u015fkilerine ne oldu\u011fu konusunda son derece a\u00e7\u0131kt\u0131lar. (R\u00f6portajlar\u0131 netlik i\u00e7in \u00f6zetlendi ve d\u00fczenlendi.)<\/p>\n
Andrii ve Tetiana, Kremenchuk’ta Ukraynal\u0131 bir psikoterapist olan Anna Trofymenko’nun s\u00f6zleriyle, \u00fclkede bir “bo\u015fanma salg\u0131n\u0131” ya\u015fan\u0131rken \u00fczerindeki milyonlarca, hatta belki y\u00fcz binlerce \u00e7iftten sadece biri. Bu, potansiyel olarak k\u0131zartma kal\u0131plar\u0131n\u0131, aile yap\u0131s\u0131n\u0131, b\u00fct\u00fcn bir Ukraynal\u0131 \u00e7ocuk ku\u015fa\u011f\u0131n\u0131n yeti\u015ftirilme bi\u00e7imini ve gelecek y\u0131llar\u0131n \u00fclke sonuna gidi\u015fat\u0131n\u0131 \u015fekillendiren, sava\u015f\u0131n en geni\u015f kapsaml\u0131 sosyal sonu\u00e7lar\u0131ndan biri olabilir.<\/p>\n
Her b\u00fcy\u00fck \u00e7at\u0131\u015fma insanlar\u0131 ka\u00e7maya g\u00f6nderir. Ancak Ukrayna’n\u0131nki farkl\u0131yd\u0131. Ba\u015fkan Volodymyr Zelensky’nin att\u0131\u011f\u0131 ilk ad\u0131mlardan biri, birka\u00e7 istisna d\u0131\u015f\u0131nda 18 ila 60 ya\u015f aras\u0131 rejimler devleti terk etme s\u00fcrecini yasaklayan bir kararname \u00e7\u0131karmak oldu. Ama\u00e7, \u00fclke i\u00e7inde bir sava\u015f\u0131 korumakt\u0131. Ayn\u0131 zamanda tek tarafl\u0131 bir g\u00f6\u00e7 etkisi.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n\n\n![](\"https:\/\/static01.nyt.com\/images\/2023\/07\/24\/multimedia\/25ukraine-divorce-3\/245ukraine-divorce-3-zqgt-articleLarge.jpg?quality=75&auto=webp&disable=upscale\"\/)
<\/div>\nbaz\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131n do\u011fu Ukrayna’dan ka\u00e7\u0131p Polonya’ya giden ve di\u011fer do\u011fuya d\u00f6nen yolcular, ge\u00e7en y\u0131l Nisan ay\u0131ndan itibaren Ukrayna’n\u0131n ald\u0131\u011f\u0131ki Lviv ak\u015fam\u0131 ana tren istasyonunu tamamlama.<\/span> Kredi…<\/span> The New York Times i\u00e7in Finbarr O’Reilly<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n\nSekiz milyon Ukraynal\u0131 m\u00fcltecinin y\u00fczde doksan\u0131 kad\u0131n ve \u00e7ocuklardan olu\u015fuyor ve evli olsun ya da olmas\u0131n bir\u00e7ok kad\u0131n geri d\u00f6nmeyi planlam\u0131yor. Devam ediyorlar ve yeni, yang\u0131n hayatlar\u0131 geli\u015ftiriyorlar. Baz\u0131lar\u0131 Ukrayna’daki taciz i\u00e7eren a\u00e7\u0131klamalardan ka\u00e7\u0131yor ve uzant\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131 b\u0131rakmas\u0131n\u0131 yasaklad\u0131 yasa, Ukraynal\u0131 kad\u0131nlar\u0131n bir istismarlar\u0131n\u0131 bo\u015fanmay\u0131 aramalar\u0131 i\u00e7in \u015fimdi Polonya, Almanya ve di\u011fer \u00fclkelerde g\u00fcvenli bir alan yaratt\u0131.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n\nAncak ayn\u0131 yasa, m\u00fclteci \u00e7ocuklar olan erkekler i\u00e7in de \u00e7ok fazla ac\u0131 etki. E\u015fleri veya eski e\u015fleri \u00e7ocuklar\u0131 ile birlikte Ukrayna’y\u0131 terk etmi\u015f olabilir ve \u015fu anda babalar\u0131n onlar\u0131 g\u00f6rmek i\u00e7in yurt d\u0131\u015f\u0131na gitmelerinin bir yolu yok.<\/p>\n
10 \u00fclkede t\u00fcm g\u00fcn ve gece boyunca bir haftadan fazla araba s\u00fcrd\u00fckten sonra, Tetiana ve \u00e7iftin en b\u00fcy\u00fck o\u011flu nihayet yar\u0131 profesyonel bir hokey oyuncusu olan en k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck o\u011fullar\u0131n\u0131n ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131 Finlandiya’n\u0131n Turku \u015fehrine vard\u0131. Eve gitmek istemedi\u011fini orada anlam\u0131\u015ft\u0131.<\/p>\n
Tetiana<\/p>\n
ANDRII<\/p>\n
Ukraynal\u0131 ak\u0131l sa\u011fl\u0131\u011f\u0131 uzmanlar\u0131, bo\u015fanma avukatlar\u0131, fl\u00f6rt uzmanlar\u0131, mahkeme katipleri ve hakimlerin tahminlerine g\u00f6re, ge\u00e7en y\u0131l Ukrayna’da biten evliliklerin say\u0131s\u0131 sava\u015f \u00f6ncesine g\u00f6re iki hatta \u00fc\u00e7 kat daha fazlayd\u0131. Uzmanlar, di\u011fer \u00fclkelerle kar\u015f\u0131 kar\u015f\u0131ya kald\u0131klar\u0131 her zaman y\u00fcksek olan Ukrayna’daki bo\u015fanma s\u00fcre\u00e7lerine y\u00f6nlendirilen \u015feyler, \u00e7ok fazla olmas\u0131na ra\u011fmen sava\u015fla ilgili stresten \u00e7ok, b\u00fcy\u00fck \u00e7eli\u015fkili gruplar oldu\u011funu iddia ediyorlar.<\/p>\n
Psikoterapist Dr. Trofymenko, insanlar\u0131n topluluklar\u0131ndan koptular\u0131nda her \u015feyi yeniden de\u011ferlendirmeye ba\u015flad\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131 s\u00f6yledi.<\/p>\n
“\u0130nsanlar soru sormaya ba\u015fl\u0131yor” dedi. “Mesela: Hayat\u0131m\u0131n uzun y\u0131llar\u0131n\u0131 birlikte y\u00fcr\u00fctt\u00fcm bu ki\u015fi, art\u0131k kim kesmeyi bilmesem bile benim i\u00e7in hala do\u011fru ki\u015fi mi?”<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n\nTetiana, kendi itiraf\u0131na g\u00f6re, b\u00f6yle bir \u015fey ya\u015fad\u0131. Evliliklerinin hi\u00e7bir zaman k\u00f6t\u00fc olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131, ancak y\u0131llar\u0131n “bir bo\u015fluk” duygusuna sahip oldu\u011funu s\u00f6yledi. O ve Andrii onu canland\u0131rmak i\u00e7in milyonlarca farkl\u0131 \u015fey denediler – birincil evlerini tamir etmek, bir daire sat\u0131n almak, yeni bir k\u00f6pek almak. Ama hi\u00e7bir \u015fey i\u015fe yaramad\u0131, s\u00f6yledi\u011fi ve onun i\u00e7in ili\u015fkisi “zaten okudu\u011funuz bir kitap” gibi hissetmeye ba\u015fl\u0131yordu.<\/p>\n
Sadakat onu i\u00e7inde tuttu. Ancak yeni bir yola ka\u00e7mak onu yeni bir ruh haline sokar.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n\nTetiana, yeni ortas\u0131yla ge\u00e7en ay Vantaa, Finlandiya’da.<\/span> Kredi…<\/span> The New York Times i\u00e7in Saara Mansikkamaki<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\nM\u00fcltecilerin birka\u00e7 haftas\u0131nda Tetiana Finli bir adamla tan\u0131\u015ft\u0131rd\u0131. Bunu Andrii’ye a\u00e7man\u0131n \u00e7ok zor oldu\u011funu s\u00f6yledi. Onu telefonla arad\u0131 ve \u201c\u0130li\u015fkimizi yapmak istemiyoruz. Yeni bir yer, yeni bir ili\u015fki, yeni bir her \u015fey istiyorum. Yeni bir hayat istiyorum.\u201d<\/p>\n
ANDRII<\/p>\n
Tetiana<\/p>\n
Ukrayna’da binlerce kilometre \u00f6teden bo\u015fanmak m\u00fcmk\u00fcn. \u0130nsanlar evlilik c\u00fczdanlar\u0131n\u0131, do\u011fum sertifikalar\u0131n\u0131, pasaport taramalar\u0131n\u0131 ve vergi belgelerini g\u00f6nderiyor. O\u011fullar\u0131 yeti\u015fkin oldu\u011fu i\u00e7in Andrii ve Tetiana’n\u0131n herhangi bir velayet anla\u015fmazl\u0131\u011f\u0131 olmad\u0131. Asl\u0131nda evleri, ortak mallar\u0131, hi\u00e7bir \u015fey hakk\u0131nda herhangi bir tart\u0131\u015fmaya girmediler, ayr\u0131lmadan \u00f6nce kabul ettiler.<\/p>\n
Ancak bir\u00e7ok Ukraynal\u0131 \u00e7ift i\u00e7in velayet konusu \u015fu ve \u00f6zellikle karma\u015f\u0131k. Bir millet sava\u015f halindeyken, bir kad\u0131n\u0131n babas\u0131ndan izinsiz \u00e7ocu\u011fuyla \u00fclkeyi terk etmesi zor olur. Ama \u015fimdi bir sava\u015f var.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n\nBir kad\u0131n \u00e7ocu\u011fuyla birlikte \u00fclkeleri terk ederler ve \u00e7ift ay\u0131r\u0131rlarsa ve adam Ukrayna’da mahsur kald\u0131\u011f\u0131 halde \u00e7ocu\u011funu g\u00f6rmek ister hakimler ne yapar?<\/p>\n
Kiev’de bir yarg\u0131\u00e7 olan Ivanna Yerosova, g\u00fcnl\u00fck f\u00fcze sald\u0131r\u0131lar\u0131yla de\u011fil, \u201cKad\u0131na \u00e7ocukla birlikte geri d\u00f6nd\u00fcrmeni emredemem\u201d dedi. Ve erkeklere d\u0131\u015f\u0131ndaki \u00e7ocuklar\u0131 ziyaret etmek i\u00e7in Ukrayna s\u0131n\u0131r\u0131ndan ge\u00e7me yetkisi verme yetkisine sahip olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 s\u00f6yledi.<\/p>\n
Bu da onu -hatta davalar\u0131na karar verdikleri \u00e7iftler- \u015fimdilik \u00fclk\u00fcden daha az bir noktada b\u0131rak\u0131yor. Hakimler, evinki annelere, onlar\u0131n babalar\u0131yla g\u00f6r\u00fcnt\u00fcl\u00fc sohbet yoluyla ileti\u015fim kurmas\u0131na izin verme emri verebilir. Yarg\u0131\u00e7 Yerosova, sava\u015f g\u00f6zlemcileri, bir baban\u0131n \u00e7ocu\u011fu, \u00e7ocu\u011fun nerede olursa olsun g\u00f6rmekten yararlanan yeni bo\u015fanma anla\u015fmalar\u0131n\u0131 tasavvur etti\u011fini s\u00f6yledi.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n\nAndrii, Nisan tan\u0131\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131 bir Dnipro park\u0131nda.<\/span> Kredi…<\/span> The New York Times i\u00e7in Finbarr O’Reilly<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\nAndrii i\u00e7in o\u011fullar\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6rememek \u00e7ok \u00fcz\u00fcc\u00fc.<\/p>\n
ANDRII<\/p>\n
Tetiana<\/p>\n
Ukrayna Adalet Bakanl\u0131\u011f\u0131’na g\u00f6re, 2021’de 29.587 olan bo\u015fanma say\u0131s\u0131 2022’de 17.893’e d\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc. Ancak uzmanlar, verileri yan\u0131lt\u0131c\u0131 oldu\u011funu s\u00f6yl\u00fcyor. Sava\u015f, Ukrayna’n\u0131n mahkeme sisteminin t\u00fcm s\u00fcresini ciddi bir \u015fekilde engelledi ve yarg\u0131\u00e7lar, psikologlar ve bo\u015fanma avukatlar\u0131, mahkumlar\u0131 ve yak\u0131nda bo\u015fanacak olan \u00e7iftlerin hamileli\u011fini keskin bir \u015fekilde etkiledi\u011fini s\u00f6yledi.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n\nBir bile\u015fenlerin bu kadar \u00e7ok ayr\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131n sonu\u00e7lar\u0131 muhtemelen geni\u015f kapsaml\u0131 olacakt\u0131r. Ukraynal\u0131 demograflar, m\u00fclteci \u00e7\u0131k\u0131\u015flar\u0131 ve sava\u015f kay\u0131plar\u0131 ile birlikte etkilerini y\u00f6nlendirmeye ba\u015fl\u0131yor.<\/p>\n
Ukrayna Ulusal Bilimler Akademisi demografisi Oleksandr Hladun, “N\u00fcfusun azalmaya devam etmesini tahmin ediyoruz” dedi. 1990’lardan bu yana, Ukrayna s\u00fcrekli olarak 1991’de 52 milyona 38 milyona ula\u015ft\u0131. Uzmanlar, \u00f6n\u00fcm\u00fczdeki 15 y\u0131lda 30 milyona d\u00fc\u015fece\u011fini tahmin ediyor.<\/p>\n
Andrii ve Tetiana, Aral\u0131k ay\u0131ndaki bo\u015fanmalar\u0131n\u0131 tamamlad\u0131. Sava\u015f\u0131n ilk g\u00fcn\u00fcnden beri dinlediklerini g\u00f6rmediler. Tetiana Fince okuyor ve Finlandiya’n\u0131n sahibi olmaya haz\u0131rlan\u0131yor. Andrii yaln\u0131z ya\u015f\u0131yor.<\/p>\n
Zaman\u0131n ele ge\u00e7irilmesi, sava\u015f\u0131n \u00f6nlenmesinden bu yana g\u00f6r\u00fcld\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn\u00fc s\u00f6ylenen g\u00f6zlemler ve d\u00f6v\u00fc\u015flerle m\u00fccadele eden birliklerle sona eriyor.<\/p>\n
Ge\u00e7en g\u00fcn son derece sad\u0131k bir Shar Pei olan yeni k\u00f6pekleri Tori’yi Dnipro park\u0131nda y\u00fcr\u00fcy\u00fc\u015fe \u00e7\u0131kard\u0131. S\u00fcrekli ona bakan Tori’ye tepeden bakan yar\u0131 \u015fakayd\u0131: “Ailemden geriye kalan tek \u015fey bu.”<\/p>\n
O ve Tetiana, evlerin i\u015fgal edilmedi\u011fini ne d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyor?<\/p>\n
Tetiana<\/p>\n
Andrii<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n\nTetiana, “Bunu asla yapmad\u0131m,” dedi. “Sorunun i\u00e7inden \u00e7\u0131kana kadar sorunu g\u00f6rememek klasik bir durumdu.”<\/span> Kredi…<\/span> The New York Times i\u00e7in Saara Mansikkamaki<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\nKatya Lachina ve Tetiana Pavliuk, Kiev, Ukrayna’dan yararlanmaya katk\u0131da bulundu.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Ukrayna’daki \u00e7at\u0131\u015fmadaki say\u0131s\u0131z aileyi par\u00e7alad\u0131. Andrii Shapovalov ve Tetiana Shapovalova’n\u0131n hikayesi, bir \u00e7iftin ba\u011f\u0131n\u0131n nas\u0131l zayiata d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015febilece\u011fini ortaya koyuyor.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":11685,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[823,799,798],"class_list":["post-11684","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-dunya","tag-eski","tag-ile","tag-ukrayna"],"yoast_head":"\n
Sava\u015f 'Uzun ve Mutlu Bir Evlili\u011fi' Nas\u0131l Yok Etti?<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/haberuz.net\/savas-uzun-ve-mutlu-bir-evliligi-nasil-yok-etti\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"tr_TR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Sava\u015f 'Uzun ve Mutlu Bir Evlili\u011fi' Nas\u0131l Yok Etti?\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Ukrayna'daki \u00e7at\u0131\u015fmadaki say\u0131s\u0131z aileyi par\u00e7alad\u0131. 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